a friend for adoption

I have to admit , I haven't forgotten about this blog, but I definitely have put it on the back burner. Way back. I spent so many months and years writing about our struggles that once Cormick was here, I didn't really know what this blog should be about anymore. Do people really want to read about C all the time? This was my place to talk about infertility and adoption. 

In moving to VA, I lost my military community and my adoption/infertility support groups. I've been searching and searching to find an adoptive families group here. A month or so ago I happened to stumble upon a posting from a girl on facebook that lives just down the street! Oh happy day! 

 She and her husband are adopting from Taiwan. You can read their journey here. She and her friend have formed Friends for Adoption. It is a support system for those waiting and those that have already adopted. I love the concept! I have been matched with an adoptive mom is Kansas! She has a biological son and an adoptive son from Korea! All 3 of our boys are 6 months apart! How cool is that? I can't wait to get to know her more and support each other as these years of parenting BOYS go on!

If you want to know more about Friends for Adoption, head over to Brooke's blog by clicking the button on this page! 

Now that I have a "friend for adoption", I am feeling the pressure of updating this blog! :) Maybe I should change the title...it's not really Just the 2 of Us anymore!  

you are ONE

My Sweet Boy,
Today you are 1! It feels like yesterday when your birthdad called to tell me you had been born, five weeks early! Daddy was at work in Afghanistan and I was at home in Ohio asleep. I booked the earliest flight to Seattle. I had just parked my car when your birthdad sent me a picture of you. It was very surreal seeing this tiny baby and knowing he was going to be our son. After so many years of heartache¸ you were here, the child that was meant for us. Cormick, you have been our blessing, our miracle and my saving grace. In just 12 short months you have brought joy back into my heart. You have grown from this tiny preemie baby who slept all the time to a very active little boy! Your smile lights up a room and everyone always comments on what a happy baby you are.   I wouldn’t trade staying home with you for anything in the world. It’s such a privilege to watch you explore and learn and grow each day. We have so much fun together.
God brought you to us at the most perfect time. What could have been a very sad year for us, turned out to be the best year of our lives. All because of you.
Today we celebrate you and your birthparents. Their decision to choose life and adoption brought us you; the most precious gift! I am so excited to see how much you learn and continue to love life this next year. Daddy and I never take for granted one single moment with you. You are our everything!

 Happy First Birthday, Cormick! I don’t think I could possibly love you more!

 

roses are red

This day last year I was painting Cormick's nursery. Our friends were helping me because Greg was in Afghanistan. Right as we were about to pull the tape off and start cleaning up the phone rang. It was my Mom to tell me my Dad had passed away. One of the most exciting days of my life turned out to be the worst. I spend everyday thinking about my Dad and how I want him here to see Cormick grow. I thought I would share the words I wrote for his funeral. It is so hard to whip something profound up in a day or so when you are emotionally wrecked, but these were my thoughts at that time.

I always knew growing up that my dad was something special. I didn’t realize, what a name he had made for himself until I got older and would run into people who would say,” You’re Joe Mills’ daughter!” “Oh I loved Joe or your Dad used to beat me up when we were younger!” My Dad is a part of a lot of people’s memories, but it is my memories with him that I will cherish forever. Of course when I was younger he was on the sidelines at all my soccer and field hockey games, making sure the neighborhood boys didn’t venture upstairs to “no man’s land”, and convincing me that the biggest party school in Virginia was where I needed to get my degree! But it was the times we spent alone with each other that are my greatest memories. Our annual trip to the Christmas tree farm when we would listen to Buddy Holly and sing every word to every song! On Sundays, kicked back in the recliners watching football, checking our fantasy scores while Mom would bring us snacks. Visiting every single model home in the city of Albuquerque in search of his perfect retirement home. We went so many times all the sales people knew us by name! I was with Dad the day he found out Poncho was not a boy! How devastated he was that he continued to be surrounded by girls. I learned through my Dad that the sounds and lights of a slot machine can bring you many hours of fun. I can’t tell you how many hours we sat waiting to win the brand new F-150! We have shared many more special times together and as we say goodbye to my dad today I think of all the things I am going to miss.
I will miss my yearly Roses are Red , Violets are Blue personalized poem in my birthday card. I will miss him daring me $20 to do something stupid. I will miss our daily political talks. I will miss being his personal shopper for Mom’s gifts. I will miss having him on the line while I draft my fantasy team. I will miss him complaining that Greg doesn’t own enough tools. I will miss the excessive use of baby powder. I will miss him spoiling my dogs. I will miss having him to call when I need advice. I am so sad that he won’t be here to hold his grandson in January. But I have no regrets, because I told my Dad every single day that I loved him and that I missed him. I am Daddy’s Little Girl through and through and even though some might say we needed to cut the umbilical cord ..… he was my best friend and partner in crime and I can’t imagine life without him.

joy

I thought I would share some great news! Our good friends in Ohio just took placement of a baby girl today! They started their adoption journey three years ago! Last week they met with a birthmother and today they have a gorgeous new addition to their family. Again, we see the miracle of adoption! I had already booked a trip to Ohio for a girls weekend and now I get to celebrate this blessing! Perfect timing. My heart is just overflowing with joy!Congrats, Jenny and Bill!

october 9th

Today is the anniversary of our first baby's passing. It's been four years since that horrible horrible day when we found out our baby's heart stopped beating. I thought I would never recover from that loss. But today, four years later, I was actually able to enjoy the day with friends and get this...go to a baby shower! Wow...progress! I'll never forget this day or that time in our life. My hope now is that our little angel is with my Dad. He couldn't be here to meet our son, but I hope he is being the best Grandaddy to our little one in heaven!

forever changed

Isn't funny how your life can change in an instant? One year ago today I received an email that would change my life forever. I was sitting at home alone in Ohio as Greg was in Afghanistan. I opened my email to find a message from our agency. They forwarded me an email from a birthmom instead of replying back to her on their own, they wanted me to read it because she had spent so much time and effort writing it. I sat on the couch balling my eyes out while I read her words. Shaking, I called everyone I knew and of course no one was home! It was early in the morning in Afghanistan so Greg would be the last to hear! I remember thinking it was the most beautiful words I had ever read. After contacting my agency, I emailed the birthcouple and the rest is history. As Cormick's birthmom said to me yesterday," It all turned out just the way God wanted it to."

goodnight seattle

So many times, on this blog, I have said how blessed we are. In June, we flew to Seattle so Greg could meet Cormick's birthmother and her family. It was so important to us, that Greg meet them in person since he was gone when Cormick was born. The visit was wonderful yet emotional. As an adoptive mom, I struggle with many different feelings when it comes to Cormick. I feel a very strong sense of responsibility towards Cormick's birthparents. My main purpose in life now is to be the best mother to Cormick that I can be. Not just for our family but for his birthfamily also. I wanted his birthmother to see that we love this little boy more than anything. His birthfather was not up to visiting with us, but I hope he knows too how loved Cormick is. Whether it is now or years from now, my wish is that they can be at peace knowing they made the right decision by choosing us.
Cormick is not only loved by us, but he has a birthfamily that loves him too. When we said goodbye to them I cried all the way back to the hotel. In some sense, I feel like we have taken him from them. I know that his birthparents chose adoption, but I still was so sad. His birthgrandma gave him this book. I had our photographer take some pictures with it for them. Is he gorgeous or what? After all our struggles to become a family, we have been so richly blessed by this miracle! It was so worth it!