Seven years ago I vowed to be with Julie for better or worse, sicker or poorer, till death do us part. Life has given us so many amazing things and yet the one true thing we both desire so badly continues to elude us for whatever the reason is. We always find ourselves wanting more and our journey to have our own family is one that we are still working to make a reality.
I know God only gives you as much as you can take and always has a plan for us in this universe. What I don’t know is what he wants from me and if he sees me being a father or even a good one for that matter. I cannot describe to friends and family what it feels like to watch them and how their chapters continue to grow and yet somehow I cannot offer that to my amazing bride of 7 years.
I often wonder if it is my past that for one reason or another haunts our future and maybe this is the reason why God has decided we cannot be parents or have our “own” little miracle. If I could give everything up…my job…my possessions...my health, just to make her dreams…our dreams come true.
Every husband wants to gives his wife everything she has wanted in life….in my case I have only fill the pages of the first few chapters….I pray at night when I go to sleep I can continue to write pages in this book we call life. My heart aches and my head wonders, will this be the year that Julie and I can share the most spectacular part of life? Who knows…the one thing I do know I love her with all my life and she has made me the most amazing person I could ever dreamed to be, when all others gave up on me, she was there….when I doubted myself and did’t think I could my best, she pushed me on more….when I found myself just accepting whatever comes, she tells me to strive for more.
Julie….thank you for saying, “YES” that night in New York and THANK YOU for being the most memorable, spectacular, loving, amazing part of my life. I hope one day, I can fulfill your every dream and until that day comes I will never give up trying.