daddy's girl

I lost my Daddy yesterday. The one and only thing I wanted more than a child was to have him here as I became a Mom. As I type Greg is on his way from Afghanistan. I don't have much to say other than I lost my best friend.

adoption group

I've been thinking a lot lately about our time here in Ohio and how much I did not want to move to the Midwest! Once again, I obviously am not the one in control. God knew exactly where Greg and I needed to be at that time in our lives. It's here where I have found the support and friendships that will last a lifetime. Here is a picture of the girls from RESOLVE that have chosen adoption as the path to build their families. We do lots outside of RESOLVE together, but this picture was from our monthly Adoption Group dinner. Our time in Ohio is getting shorter. We will have to move on to our next duty station in the summer. I am so grateful that they will get to share in our joy when we finally become a family, but how am I ever going to be able to leave? If any of you RESOLVE ladies are reading this, I hope you know how much I love and appreciate your support!

three years later

It has been three years today since we learned our baby had passed. They say time heals all wounds. I wouldn't say our wound is healed, but time has made the pain easier to handle. I do believe all things happen for a reason. I've never been able, until now, to understand the reason for our loss. Now I know if it wasn't for our baby, we would not be adopting and in the midst of a wonderful journey. Though we grieve the loss of our biological child, we are thrilled to be awaiting the arrival of the child that is meant to be with us!

our perfect match

Our perfect match has found us! My trip to visit the birth couple was absolutely amazing. I only wish Greg could have been there to meet them in person. I've become so attached that it was very hard for me to leave them. They do have a very good support system, I just felt horrible that I had to go back home. I can’t express how thankful I am that I will actually be able to tell our child that I knew his birthparents. I will be able to tell him exactly what they are like and how much they love him. This entire experience has been a lesson to me in trusting God and knowing that he is the one in control. I know that there is a plan for all of us, but now I am actually able to see it unfold and truly believe it. For all those years of heartache, these feelings we are having are totally worth it! My only struggle now is wondering how I will ever be able to thank them enough for making me a mother and Greg a father. In January, our dream of becoming parents and raising a child together will come true!

published

Our infertility story has been published in this wonderful book, "The Waiting Room" by Kalle Fletcher. She is a fellow RESOLVE member who compiled a collection of women's stories and wrote this amazing book! We are fortunate enough to be included. My copy arrived today! Even our angel baby is remembered on the page with all the others. There is a quote at the beginning of the book, that struck me. I wish I had heard it earlier on in our journey, because boy does it ring true today!
" We must be willing to get rid of the life's we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

half way

A recent photo of Greg. We are almost half way through this deployment! Thanks for all the prayers. He is working hard and counting the days until he comes home!

blessed

What a crazy awesome two weeks it has been. The Inquiry has now turned into a plane trip across the country to meet this incredible couple! We have spent the past two weeks emailing back and forth. Greg has also been able to email them from overseas. I was beyond nervous to tell them that he was deployed. Probably the most nervous I have ever been in my entire life. It is a part of our life, but I didn't want it to change their opinions of us and think that he would be an absent father. It was a huge relief when they wrote back to tell us that it did not change their opinions and that they respected his service to our country. PHEW! I can't explain the connection we feel to this couple. They way she describes the birthfather is the way I would describe Greg and their outlook on life and life's circumstances are so similar to us. My friend is going to stand in for Greg and in two weeks we will leave to go meet them! I feel completely and utterly blessed right now. It's a feeling I haven't felt in many years.