Tuesday, July 22, 2008

expectant mother

I heard someone once say that waiting adoptive mothers are also "expectant mothers". You don't have to be pregnant to be "expecting". I am trying to see myself as this while I wait on a potential job offer. We desperately need the money to pay for the adoption expenses. Me working will make the difference in paying up front or taking out a loan. How do a tell a new employer that I really am "expecting", I just don't have a due date? I want and need the flexibility to put the quest for our child first. I pray that what is meant to be will and that things will fall into place while we are expecting!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

great, i have eggs

Have you ever hoped for bad news? My test results came back from the AMH blood draw. Drum roll......2.5! Normal as normal can be!Dr. B said at .7 he would tell us to move on in another direction. 2.5???!!! This means I have eggs, they are not disappearing. I wish they were, then I would have an answer to why this is not working for us. The nurse asked if they could take our "case" to the staff meeting on the 30th and talk about it. I told her to go for it, but it doesn't change our decision to adopt. However, I am requesting genetic testing and praying that the military will pay for it. I just want to know why...maybe I should have opted for the amnio when we lost the baby. Maybe I would already have my answer?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

a doula, a sorority sister and a chemist

When I lost our baby, I felt such a need for some kind of support. I guess you could say it was my lowest of lows. I found a local RESOLVE chapter and it has been my saving grace. I'm not sure what I thought I would find, maybe just some people to talk to that would truly understand my grief. This week I had time to reflect on our family building journey. Greg and I have been so blessed with good friends wherever we go. However, Ohio has blessed me with girlfriends that know, really KNOW the roller coaster that has been our life for the past 4+years. One pointed out, that who would have every thought a doula, a sorority sister, and a chemist would have anything in common! Well we do, and it is this thing called infertility. A bond, that we will always have no matter what changes may come our way.

and yes... I would be the sorority sister!