Hearts Apart

The caller ID on my cell says Hearts Apart. It's Greg! He made it! It's 3am, over in the desert it is 11am. Greg sounded tired, said he would tell me about the flights later. Hum? Knowing us, I bet something (or someone) interesting happened!

Hearts Apart is a program for deployed family and spouses through base Family Readiness. It is through Hearts Apart that we get our free phone calls. I think it is an hour a week. However, you can spilt the 60 minutes up whichever way you like. It's just like my husband to preprogram the phone number into my cell. Hearts Apart usually has monthly events and group outings for families. I've never gone to one because it is for FAMILIES. That would imply you have a child. Most of the events are child related. It's a great program, don't get me wrong, but their aren't many 32 year old non-mothers attending the zoo day trip or pizza night! You can be sure I will be on the list to get the monthly email calendar and weekly reminders of all the events. Just another friendly reminder that I am infertile!!!

Enough complaining....I am so thankful that Greg made it safe and now I can finally get some sleep!

Thanks again for all the prayers and support!

2 Goodbyes

Well he is finally on his way. Greg was scheduled to leave Wednesday, but thanks to a broken plane and a rental car I got to have one more day with him. We said our second goodbye last night on the front porch while the rain was pouring down. I don't know if I was more upset this time, or if I have just forgotten how it feels to be left, but I was quite sad. Right now I just want to know that he has landed safely and as each day finishes it is one day closer to him coming back.

Once he has contacted me with all his info I will post it here. I know he would love to get an email from everyone. I'm hoping he might post on here as well, but that depends if they have access to regular Internet stuff.

Friends, Florida & Family

Greg and I have met so many people between Alaska, New Mexico and now Ohio. We've been lucky to form strong friendships in each one of these states.Greg and I feel so blessed to have true, genuine friends in our life. Friends, that are there for you no matter where you live. Friends that make you a better person when you are around them. Friends that know just the right thing to say or not to say when you are at the lowest of lows.

The Allmans and the Hilliards are these type of friends. Maybe that is why I love to go down to Florida and see them. Both of these families were so thoughtful and caring when we lost our baby. I've said many of times that losing our child was a real wake up call for me. Our TRUE friends emerged and shined more brightly then ever before. Patti and Tom Allman show Greg and I what a true solid marriage is all about. They restore our faith in GOD when we seem to forget that there is a plan for us. Kayla is their gorgeous 15 year old who is a testament to their outstanding parenting! She is typical teenager who loves her girlfriends, playing sports etc, but she is grounded with good morals and values.

Andy and Silvia are another awesome couple with their two little ones Nina and Naya. I think Greg admires Andy and his dedication to his family. Greg constantly makes comments about what a great father he is to the girls and how hard he works. Silvia has the job I long for. She is a very educated woman but took time off to be a mother. Besides being a wonderful patient mother, she has been a great friend to me. Silvia always takes the time to ask how I am doing and holding up with these struggles we face. Andy and Silvia were the first to send us flowers after the baby. I didn't know anyone would do that for us. But when I read the card and saw they were from them I wasn't really surprised. We just looked at each other and said, " They are so great."

And so our trip to Tampa ended this morning, but we surrounded ourselves with these good people and had a wonderful time. Being around these two families just makes us want one of our own even more. Going to high school games and chasing two little ones around the house is what we long for. Thank you guys, for always being there for us and showing us what family is all about!

"A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope."

Sunshine State: Here We Come!

Right now we are back in Virginia, but not for long. Greg and I fly out tomorrow morning for Tampa! Oh how we love Tampa! We have friends from Alaska and New Mexico that happen to live very close to each other in Tampa. Tomorrow night we will have dinner with Andy and Silvia and then off to Patti and Tom's. I don't know if it is the sun, the water or good friends, but something about Tampa makes us so happy! Maybe we are destined to live there after the Air Force?

Most of you know Laurie and Keith our good friends from Alaska. They spent the past few days with us in Ohio. I miss them already. I miss having them down the street and working with Laurie. If you guys are reading this, thank you so much for flying out to Ohio! We will be in Idaho with bells on for the big graduation!

Being here is a reality that Greg is leaving and we won't be doing any treatments for a while. It frustrates the heck out of me, but maybe it is for the best. I have to admit it's pretty nice not getting multiple shots each night. I'm finally bruise free!

BulletProof Sunglasses

I hope everyone has taken some time today to remember all the heroes of September 11th. I know you all have your flags flying!:) I'll never forget that morning when Heather called us at 5am in Alaska to wake up and turn on our TVs.One hour later,the call came through for Greg to high tail it to work and the rest is history. Greg has completed 3 deployments since September 11th, 2001. And now the countdown begins again!
Greg will be heading out soon for #4. We spent the weekend buying extra uniforms and going through all the checklists. As we were rearranging bags, he pulls out these sunglasses and puts them on. I thought he looked ridiculous, but then he says, "These can take a bullet right through the center and not break." OK, all the sudden they didn't look so bad! Bulletproof sunglasses, who knew? Let's just hope those stay in their box! Once he gets settled over there I will post all his info in case anyone wants to drop him a line or send some goodies. In the meantime, our good friends arrive on Thursday night and then we are heading to Tampa on Monday to see some more of our favorite people. We need to get in a water fix!

The "What Went Wrong" Appointment

Today was the follow up appointment with Dr. B. I had a list of questions (thanks Devon) to ask, but Kinsey started throwing up all over the house 5 minutes before I had to leave. Needless to say, I forgot the questions. Anyway, to make a long story short, he was very disappointed in my response to the meds. He said it really worries him that I only produced 6 eggs (8 the last time). They want to retrieve 10-12. At my age, I should not be having a problem producing enough eggs. All my blood results don't show that I have an egg quality issue, but there is one more blood count they can take to see if I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve. Which means that I don't produce many eggs and that soon there won't be any left.And I mean soon, like within 3 years. This is what he is leaning towards and he repeatedly said he was nervous and worried for me. I asked him when do we call it quits and go for donor egg or adoption. He said to use our frozen guys, do one more IVF and if those fail then he would tell us to stop and get a donor.

So our plan is to do the FET when Greg returns. I asked him if he would transfer all 3 and he said yes! So now we pray that they are strong enough to survive the thaw. If we have to do one more IVF I will be labeled as a "poor responder" and put on a new protocol.

So we are on hold until Greg gets back. Which is fine. Dr. B said whatever situation would make me less stressed, and that would be waiting until he gets back.

So that is that. In the end, he feels we did "better" than New Mexico because we had 5 ready for transfer. He also made comments about how women want to lose the weight before starting another IVF, then he looked at me! So I guess I will be trying to get all this medicine weight off of me before Greg gets home!

Will You Be My Wife?

Seven years ago today, Greg asked me to be his wife. We were on the top of the Empire State building. Greg made sure were were standing on the "southside" because we met driving South on I81. Who knew back then we would be facing so many struggles today? There have been many times during this journey that I have looked at him during a procedure, and thought, " I could not imagine doing this with anyone but him." I Love You, Greg.

Tear Jerker

I stole this video from Jenn's site. The first time I watched it a bawled my eyes out. So I posted it on my myspace page and have gotten lots of comments about it. Thought I would share it here also. Get your tissues ready because it's a good one!