Fun in Qatar

Happy Halloween!

Greg sent this video of he and his buddy surprising their flight with some Halloween cheer! I got a little surprise myself with a nice arrangement of flowers from my hubby, hoping my day was fun filled. If you ever spend Halloween day in a classroom it is ALWAYS fun filled!:)

Enjoy! The video is hilarious!!!

the Obsession

I have been obsessed now for a week or so about where to go on vacation when Greg gets back. Since I cannot decide please help me and take the poll! Each has its own pros and cons. The purpose of the trip is to be alone and "reconnect". Chose which one you think would best meet the goal!

100 days and carepackage info!

Greg has been gone 20 days! It feels like at least 50! It will probably be a little more than 100 left but at least I can start counting now! :) A few of you have asked what to send him in a care package. I've been thinking a lot and have come up with a few things. I will list here.

1. Air Fresheners (plug ins) his room is a nightmare
2. Magazines (he already gets SCUBA, MAXIM, STUFF, MEN's JOURNAL) he loves Men's Health, Kiplingers, Money, anything like Consumer Reports or anything with college or NFL football.
3. Candy- Twizzlers, Starburst, Skittles- he's not really a chocolate person
4. Old DVD's that you don't want anymore or that he could return to you.
5. Here is a big one! IF you live in an area that sells TastyKakes. The brand TastyKakes, he LOVES them. We can't buy them in Ohio. BUT PhillyFlava in Tampa (patti) has them. He likes the Butterscotch Krimpets. I looked here today, no luck in the butterscotch.

I will post more if he sends out any hints of what he needs. He's not as "secluded" as usual so there is access to most of what he needs. Most of all I know he would just love to hear from everyone. He totally does not expect any packages.But I know they are fun to put together, especially during the holidays. It took about 5 days business days for my packages to get there.

I hope this helps! Thank you in advance!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Today is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. Just want my friends that have lost babies to know that I have been thinking about you and your little ones all day. I wouldn't know any of you if I hadn't lost our miracle and that is the only good thing that came out of our devastation.

The Love I Found In You

For some reason this deployment seems harder. I don't know if it is because I forget what the first weeks are like. Or is it because I have become so dependent on Greg this year, that being away is harder than previous years?
Either way, I miss you terribly Greg. Thought I would post the words to our wedding song. They still ring true today! Love you more today than I did yesterday!

You are the air I need to breathe
the river of life inside of me
you are the half that made me whole
you are the anchor of my soul

and you are strong when I am weak
you are the words when I can't speak
you never fail to see me through
that's the love I found in you

you are my shelter from the storm
you are the road that leads me home
and baby with you here face to face
Oh I know I've found my place

and you are strong when I am weak
you are the words when I can't speak
you never fail to see me through
that's the love I found in you

and once in every life
you find the one that's right
and when you say forever it's true
That's the love I found in you

"I Regret to Inform You"

I guess in all the hubbub of Greg leaving I forgot to post about this. I received a certified letter last Friday from the 88th Medical Group from Wright Patterson. To be honest, I was a little freaked out. I was thinking maybe in all the blood draws we had done maybe something came back funky, or they just found something. I had no clue what this letter could be about.

Well, you know it is bad news when you see " I regret to inform you". Long story short they have put the IVF program on INDEFINITE HOLD!! So this means everyone (us) that is on the waiting list to have IVF through the base is out of luck. Good news (sarcastically) is that we keep our place in line IN CASE they reinstate it. This is horrible! This is the sole reason we came to Wright Patterson. Well at least that is what we thought. I am so thankful that my impatience took over and we went to a civilian RE in May. If not we would have wasted a year and would not have our 3 little guys waiting and would be back to square one. My heart breaks for those that have been sitting on that list for years and now have to start all over again. I could maybe understand if it was FREE and the government was cutting costs, but it isn't. Basically you save $2000-$3000 in medicine because they will let you get them for free through the base.

It is just a shame. I figured I would call in a few weeks when things calm down to see where our place really is in line. As of December 06 we were on for November 2008 ( you can see why my patience ran out). Last I heard we were moved to May of 2008, but I need to confirm.

Anyway, this just adds to the roller coaster ride of infertility. Nothing like your IVF program getting cancelled!I am SO SO SO happy Jenn referred us to Dr. B!!

October 9th

So this is the day I have been dreading all year. Today is the anniversary of losing our baby. Since we don't know the exact date our baby passed we go by the date we found out. Once we knew Greg was leaving, I started to dread this week. I did not want to go through today alone. Being home has helped because I am working so I did not sit around and think about it. However, all the memories are so vivid, and since it happened here, it makes it somewhat worse. I remember every detail, even down to what we were wearing at the hospital. After we got the news, I had to wait two days to have the surgery. So basically it was three days of finding out your baby was dead. For some reason doctors feel the need to confirm and then confirm again.

Greg called me twice. I think he used up his entire week's worth of calls on today. He talked to the base Chaplain and forwarded me a beautiful letter. I balled me eyes out. It seems he is struggling with today also and I am so glad he sought out someone to talk to. I also know he hates being away when something is upsetting me.
I'm not sure what we would have done today if we were together. There is an Angel Memorial in Columbus, which we haven't been to but probably would have taken today to do that.

Thank you for those of you that wrote to Greg and I today. I think sometimes people forget that the Dad grieves also because they are so focused on the person who carried the child. I really appreciate all the love and support we have received in the last 12 months!

A Glimpse

Just thought I would share. It is not that much , but the first glimpse of him since he left. I'm hoping for more pictures in the months to come since he took our camera!BTW, I have no clue what he is carrying.

Sweet Tea

The reason why I am up this late is because I drank a sweet tea after 8pm. Let me tell you, there is nothing like a good sweet tea. Now that I am back in VA and McDonald's has the $1 sweet tea, I have substituted it for Starbucks. Don't know how many know this, but I have started to train for my first 5K. Jenn had told me about a podcast. It is called Couch to 5k. It is a nine week program that gets you off the couch and running a 5k in 9weeks. So I have set a goal to run the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day. I have spent 3 years now only working on having a baby and not my own body and health. A good friend of mine from high school popped in to see us last month. We played field hockey together. Seeing her made me remember what an athlete I used to be. Where did that go? I was an athlete all my life and it seems that as soon as I began this journey I've let that fall by the wayside. The medication and emotional strain has taken a toll on me. So now that I have a few months by myself, this is what I have decided to do.

Tomorrow I am dragging Alisha to an Adoption seminar with me. It is more of an informational seminar for those that are in the process and those that are thinking about adopting. I am more in the " I better educate myself on this" stage. I don't want to be ignorant or naive thinking we will never have to adopt. This week I spent working with a friend of the family who adopted a spunky little boy from Korea. She made a comment to me when we were talking about husbands and deciding when that time is right to adopt. She said, " well as you know from being a teacher you can love any child." I never looked at it that way. I have loved all my prior students, all in their own special way, some more than others at times! But that is so true. Why wouldn't I love a child that finds its way to us? Why is Greg more on board about this than me? I hope to be enlightened tomorrow and soon be able to answer the question, " Do you want to be a mother, or do you want to be pregnant?" Because in the end that is what it really comes down to.

Info on Greg

I have Greg's email and mailing address, finally! But I don't think I should post it here for security reasons. I'll do a mass email to those of you that have already asked for it. Things seem extremely busy with him. He called in the middle of the night last night. The room he was assigned to was trashed! When I say trashed, I mean trashed! Greg said he had already thrown out 3 bags of trash, needed to mop and the room smelled like smoke. He said I didn't even want to know what was left behind. Obviously, whoever was doing room checkouts didn't give a crap!
Other than that, he sounds like he is settled in and in the mode. I'll write later with another update!