checking off the list

One thing down...lots left. We got fingerprinted today. I left Greg in charge of calling the sheriff's office to find out times and price. We met there at 3:30, 15 minutes before they close. Comes to find out they only take cashier checks or money orders. NICE! Greg heard "check" and there I went with a personal check in hand. After a little squabble walking back to the car we made our way to another fingerprinting place. Ohio is back logged so now they are saying no less than 30 days for the results. Funny thing is, I have my results sitting here from my Dept. of Ed. background check! No, they don't count! One thing less to do! I hope to have lots finished before our first meeting next week.

examination

The second set of homestudy paperwork came today. I feel like we are being examined with a fine tooth comb. On my list of things to do for next week is a call to our local fire department for our house inspection. How many of you have an escape plan posted? Just one of the many ridiculous items listed!
As I was walking in the social worker was calling. She seems really nice, lives about 50 miles from here so we meet her half way for our first visit and then the next two will be at our house. I went ahead and scheduled the first visit. It will be October 9th, which is not too far away! Then I sat down and realized October 9th is the anniversary of our baby passing. Now 2 years later we are meeting for our homestudy. I can't believe it. I am happy about where we are now, but the hurt is still there. Not sure if I have shared this here or not, but I am Co-Chairing the RESOLVE Ohio Family Building Conference for 2009. We have finally set a date and wouldn't you know the only date available at the hotel is April 4th. That would be my due date. Why does everything have to fall on an anniversary? So on the 2nd anniversary of my due date I will be hosting the conference. Hopefully I will make it through the day without having a break down! I'm trying to look at it as a way to honor our child by doing something that is so important to me and has been so beneficial in my journey to build a family.

1691 and more

Today I mailed off the first of many home study forms! We had to complete Form 1691 which was basically a seven page application of who we are, where we have lived, worked and all that good stuff. There were tons of other releases and terms/conditions. Unfortunately, a little "night in jail" incident in college was brought back to the surface. I felt so embarrassed checking "yes" on the questionnaire and when I voiced that it didn't make Greg feel any better. Now I do feel bad for making him more self conscious about it. I started to feel very angry the other day, that we have to be looked over by a fine tooth comb while we are paying for an adoption. No offense to anyone out there, but when you birth a baby no one interviews you, checks your financial records, inspects your house or fingerprints you. Sometime it just seems so unfair. I am really trying to not get mad, not get frustrated or feel sorry for ourselves because I do know this has a happy ending.

double whammy

Well, just got word we were not chosen. I wasn't expecting to be, but then I got my mind wandering and was kinda hoping. So it just means that isn't our baby. Probably would have been a little too soon for us to bring a child home. However, now we have gone through the process once and know what it feels like. The waiting sucks. To top it off, in the mail was a coupon book from Huggies. I always just throw them out and have never even read the front. Well, on the front it says, " Your baby is 18 months." Thanks for the reminder of what should have been. Urgh...

small update

In between the other 8 million things I had to do today and feeling under the weather, I was able to contact our agency. The expecting birthmom has not chosen her family yet. I understand it is a huge decision and some may take a day and some weeks. Agency did say they will let us know either way. In other news, Greg has started his new job at the IG, my job is good as long as I am with the students and not the staff! I witnessed a child being hit upside the head by a teacher on Friday. I was sitting next to her talking and wham she hits this kid because he wasn't sitting still. If we didn't need the money for the adoption I would be out of there in a heart beat. If I haven't sacraficed my body enough, now my mental health!

nothing to report

Just thought I would say there is nothing to report. We haven't heard a peep. I think I will email the agency Monday and just ask if we should assume it wasn't a match. We were hoping that she would tell us either way. Not sure how long a birthmom has to decide, but I figured this one would have picked quickly since she was waiting on a gut feeling. Oh well, if it isn't a match, we are not sad. It made us get moving in the right direction. I plan on sending our application in on Monday for our homestudy. That is something I am really nervous about!