Sleepless in Dayton

I felt bad I had not posted the pic of Amy and Alisha's roses. I am up doing some entries for AOL and finally dumped some pictures off my camera and these were on there. Greg is in South Carolina for the little conference/training thing for commanders and flight chiefs deploying. Usually the first few days/week he is gone I can't sleep. Hence why it is after 10pm and I am up on the computer.
Greg told me today that deployments are moving to 6 months long and every 18 months. So you will be home for a year than gone 6 months. Of course he immediately added up how many years he will be deployed if he stays in for the next 12. What do I even say to that? All I want to think about is him coming home tomorrow night and us making the best out of the last 4 weeks we have together.

Empty Arms

This link was posted on the Resolve site. It's a good video and pretty much sums up our journey!

This is what the creator of the video has to say:
"Empty Arms was originally created as a personal expression during an especially difficult time and because I had only anticipated showing it to family and a few friends, it had contained some materials that could not be used beyond personal use. Due to the overwhelming response to the presentation along with many requests to share it with others and requests to use the presentation for education and awareness about infertility, I have created this new version."

http://www.vocalicious.com/empty_arms/empty_arms_mod2.html

I guess I could have posted this instead of creating a blog! :)

Surprise $$$

And no that is not Surprise we got money, that would be Surprise! you owe $450 to the lab! WHAT? A nice little bill came in the mail yesterday. I was billed for a HCG and a progesterone level. Both which I thought were included in the IVF package. Obviously everyone is going to have a pregnancy test so why would it not be included? The progestrone I thought we had prepaid. I was also billed twice for my platlet count and blood clotting times. All of which I wasn't expecting to pay but swallowed the fact that I have to. From now on I will be on Heparin which is a blood thinner and therefore they have to check to make sure you are clotting appropriately.
I immediately called the nurse and they were closed. I am waiting for a return call to get this straightened out. It would have been nice to have the option to go to base and get my labs for FREE!
My plan was to take Greg to Tampa for a few days before he leaves. However, our Tampa trip might be going to CompuNet Laboratories!

Fantasy Island

Today is the day we wait months for. The Fantasy Football Draft day! I've joined a free league with the Mills family. Greg and I are both in our friend Jeff's league. In both leagues I am the only girl. Why do boys always think girls know nothing about football? It just irks me!
So after a few hours of debating over which players to choose, we are all set up and ready to go. Greg said he is jealous because he can already picture me and dad sitting in the recliners, checking our stats and eating snacks in front of the big screen. I can see it now too and I am so excited. I love the Fall and I love watching football with my dad. Just sad Greg will be over in the desert this football season. Watch, this will be the year either the Hokies or Eagles go all the way!

Friends & Flowers

I am so thankful to have friends that have great taste in flowers! :) But seriously, I just wanted to thank Heather for all my gorgeous bouquets that got me through the week of the retrieval and transfer.


At the beginning of this week it was so rainy and dreary here. However, my day brightened up when another ProFlowers delivery arrived! This time from Alisha and Amy. A dozen assorted roses. The note read, "We love you and always thinking of you." They are beyond gorgeous. Right now they are in full bloom on my kitchen table. Thank you girls, they were totally unexpected and I love them!

It's definitely hard to have some of your closest friends miles and miles away when you are undertaking something like IVF. But it is so comforting knowing that Greg and I are always on their minds.

Only GOD Knows

In January of 2007, we were ready to proceed again with treatments. Since the military has a long waiting list for IVF we agreed to do a few IUI’s with injections in the meantime. After four unsuccessful IUI’s, we reevaluated our situation. Greg and I met with the military RE, he agreed to run more testing on us. All which came out normal. Once again, more frustration sets in as we were hoping that an answer would appear.
In July 2007, we started another IVF journey with yet another civilian RE. Mixed emotions ran through, as I was excited that we could conceive again, I was guarding my heart as I do not want to lose another child.
On July 31, 2007 Dr. B retrieved 6 eggs. I was disappointed. Since we went aggressive with the meds I thought we would get more. Turns out the quality means more than quantity because when the nurse called the next day surprisingly ALL 6 eggs fertilized. Amazing. I couldn't believe it, I was on cloud nine all day. I had not been that happy in so long.
The embryo transfer was August 3, 2007. Two beautiful 8 cell embryos were transferred and we were lucky to have 3 embryos left to freeze. Again, we were so happy and thankful that 3 embryos survived.
August 16, 2007 was my pregnancy test. Once again, my body has to let me know the answer before I even get to the blood test. I started spotting and cramping and I knew the IVF had failed. Greg stayed positive and optimistic but I was not. 16 is usually our lucky number also it was my Grandmother's birthday. Well, not so lucky this year. I got a BFN. Crushed again. The money is gone and my husband is leaving in 5 weeks to deploy. What will be our next step? Guess you have to keep coming back to this blog to find out!
This has been our journey so far. We know we will be parents one day. How our children will come to us, only GOD knows.

Continued....

The continuation.....

On July 11, 2006 my RE retrieved 8 eggs. Five fertilized with ICSI. I was so happy with this! I thought, “Perfect, we will transfer two and have three to freeze!” On July 14, we had two embryos transferred. Three days later we left the Albuquerque,NM and started our journey across the country to our next duty station at Wrigh Patterson AFB, Ohio. As we were leaving the state, I called the RE’s office to check on my three embryos. To my surprise, not one embryo survived! I was shocked. I felt defeated. I cried and cried for hours until my realtor called to tell us we had an offer on the house! Well at least now we would have money to pay off the IVF!
July 25, 2006 after four days of spotting and convincing myself and my husband that the IVF failed, I was wrong. I received a BFP! At the six week ultrasound our embryo was measuring a week behind and continued to measure behind. The heartbeat was strong and we saw and heard the heartbeat numerous times. At 12 weeks, I let my guard down and shared the news of our little miracle. Three weeks later, we had to tell our family and friends that our miracle had passed. Why? We will never know as I opted out of the Amniocentesis. All we know is that at 14w6d our baby measured 12w6d and did not suffer from an infection. As I write this ten months later, I am still devastated. The loss has changed me.

The Beginning

A few months ago I sat down and wrote out our infertility journey. For some reason it just helped to write it all out. I thought I would share so everyone knows a little about the steps we have taken so far. Here is the first part..............

After six years of dating, we walked down the aisle on June 16, 2001. A young military couple, we started our new journey together. We always knew we wanted to have a family, but our careers came first. Greg, an Air Force Officer and Julie an elementary school teacher, we decided to wait a few years before adding children to our lives.
In December 2003, we moved to Albuquerque, NM from Fairbanks, AK and it seemed like perfect timing. I wouldn’t apply for a job; I’d get pregnant and be a stay at home mom. Who knew that we would have any problems? We tried on our own for a little over a year before seeking help. In June of 2005, the base doctor referred us to a civilian specialist. We finally felt like we were in the best care possible. Unaware of any of the costs involved, we moved forward, went through all the testing. Greg’s analysis reported everything normal except 4% morphology. My entire tests came back normal.
We proceeded with 3 IUI’s(artficial insemenations) with Chlomid in the fall of 2005. They were all unsuccessful. Frustration, disappointment, financial and emotional strain started to take a toll on the both of us. What the heck was wrong with us? I couldn’t believe that the morphology was the only thing preventing us from conceiving. As tensions grew stronger in our household the Air Force was ready to send Greg on another deployment. It was a blessing in disguise. We needed the break from treatments. When he returned five months later we were both refreshed and ready to dive into the world of Invitro!

Testing

Just testing to see how this all works!